Last time we left off with our zip lining escapades in Mindo, Ecuador. I thought I might finish that particular story before I got away from talking about our experiences in Ecuador.
There is a famous line in the movie Forrest Gump that says, “Stupid is as stupid does.” I had to look that up to see what it meant. But I couldn’t use it. My wife is not a fan of the word “stupid.” Although I thought it was kind of stupid, I sincerely tried to quit using that word. So, my version of that line from Forrest Gump is “dumb is as dumb does.”
It doesn’t carry quite the punch but perhaps communicates something that I often struggle with. For some reason, I can get involved in the dumbest things without even trying. I can be minding my own business and dumb can jump on me like a chicken on a June bug. I can be completely innocent (relatively speaking) and dumb can just out of nowhere get me in some of the craziest situations.
Such it was at the Ecuadorian ziplines. You might remember from our last time together, that they harnessed me in what appeared to be a well-used harness, put a Styrofoam bicycle helmet on my head (Since we Ligons are famous for our Ligon noggins, the Styrofoam bicycle helmet didn’t fit very well and just barely had enough strap to tie the thing on my head). And then, off the platform I went sailing over a valley that was somewhere between 1-10 miles deep. If the thing broke and sent me crashing into the valley floor, I don’t think the bicycle helmet was going to be much help. I mean, what would the odds be of me landing on my head?
Once I got to the end of that first zipline, I told the young Ecuadorian men that was plenty for me, and I would just go back and get in the car thank you very much. They informed me that the only way to get back to the car was to go through all of the ziplines. And there would be 15 of those.
So there was only one thing to do. Stop whimpering. OK, there was another thing to do: keep going.
The next zipline was tied to a tree that was about as big around as a basketball. The first one of our group took a running jump and was zipping across another valley to the side of another mountain. But I as stood there watching this unfold, I noticed the tree that the zipline was tied to was straining with all of its might to keep its roots as deep as possible in the rocky side of the mountain. I truly thought the tree was going to come out of the ground. Since the first guy that did that was a scrawny one, I decided my extra heft would be all it would take to pull the tree loose.
Needless to say, I was more unhappy about the second zipline than the first. Because there was nothing else to do, I let them connect my harness to the zipline and then the two young Ecuadorian men literally shoved me off the side of the mountain. They were traitors, I tell you. Traitors.
And once again, there I was zipping through Ecuadorian airspace like an idiot. Did I mention dumb just sneaks up on me sometimes? I got saved about four times on my way across the valley to the other mountain. And so it was that I eventually, finally finished all of the ziplines.
Once I got back to the starting place and got my harness unhooked from that demonic last zipline, I did a very “Pope-like” thing and kissed the ground profusely. Of course, that got some dirt and a few pebbles in my mouth (don’t ask me how). Little did I know how sticky Ecuadorian dirt and little rocks can be, and I couldn’t even wash my mouth out with water.
Here are some things to think about. First, ziplines are not for the faint of heart. If you are prone to cussing a little, stay off ziplines. Second, although you can’t get saved more than once, stay away from things like ziplines that make you think you aren’t saved—and you need to be over and over. Third, if you are going to anchor your life to a tree or anything else make sure it is strong enough to hold you. In other words, make sure you are connected to Jesus.
