I am often asked in my conversations with pastors and other ministry leaders about how to deal with criticism. Here are a few thoughts for those serving in a church leadership role (thoughts that I hope are helpful and applicable to anyone serving in any kind of leadership role).
Criticism is a reality. When you lead, you will have to make decisions that will not please everyone. That’s just the way it will be. Ministry leaders need to accept that criticism comes with the responsibility of leadership. You may be doing great work for the Lord, but someone will find a way to criticize you. That’s what the people did with Moses in the exodus. This doesn’t mean you should be indifferent to criticism, but neither can you let criticism so negatively affect you that your life and ministry are derailed.
Criticism can be warranted. I had a mentor in ministry once say to me, “There may be a thousand people over here saying, ‘Yay, Todd Fisher!’ but one person over there saying, ‘Boo, Todd Fisher.’ It may well be that one person has something you need to hear.” I have found that to be true. We all make mistakes in leadership. Listen to criticism humbly and honestly. You may need to apologize for something you have done or change a decision you have made.
Criticism may be a distraction. On the other hand, the criticism you receive may be unwarranted and could be used by the enemy. I have often found that after something really great happened—a Sunday where several got saved, a significant meeting or event at church that went well, etc. I would get hit with sharp criticism. This can distract from the good that is happening and be a discouragement. This is what happened to Elijah after his showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel. Realize the spiritual warfare that may be in play when you are being criticized and refuse to allow the criticism to distract you.
Criticism can hurt. When people say ugly things directly to you, it hurts. When you hear from another how someone you thought was a friend and brother has criticized you, it hurts. Many people in church, even the ones criticizing you, do not realize the effect harsh and hateful words can have on a pastor. The difficult decisions, situations and people that pastors have to navigate throughout their tenure can have a cumulative effect that eventually takes its toll. This is where a pastor needs safe people in his life with whom he can share his frustrations and feelings.
Criticism can be unfair. In leadership, you often make decisions based on knowledge that you cannot share and others do not know. This can be really frustrating. A pastor gets criticized based on faulty or incomplete information and he is tempted to say what he knows to exonerate himself and the decision he made. Pastor, be wise here. Do not divulge information that should be kept confidential.
Consider the source of the criticism. Many times criticism comes from people who just like to gripe, want to cause controversy, or seek the spotlight by stirring up trouble. These people don’t want to be part of a solution. If unjust criticism comes from someone like this, a pastor needs to “consider the source” and know that others in the church are doing the same. In contrast, criticism may come from very reputable, credible members of the church and it may come from more than one person. Hopefully, such people will bring their criticism in a godly, constructive way. This is criticism you need to consider. Humility and willingness to listen to others are not signs of weakness in leadership, but rather a strength.
Criticism can derail you. If a pastor is not careful, he can be consumed by criticism. It can become all he thinks about—constantly replaying in his mind what was said and what he wishes he would have said, even being vengeful and ungodly in the response. This is where taking criticisms to the Lord in prayer is so important. Pastor, ask God to give you wisdom regarding the criticism and how you should respond. Ask Him to help you not forget the good things that are happening and to keep you focused on the task He has called you to do. Don’t be consumed thinking about your critics.
Always receive criticism with humility and prayer, respond to it with grace, stay focused and give it to the Lord. God will help you navigate the rough patches as you fulfill your tremendous calling to shepherd His church and love His people.
