Spring is here and serves as a reminder that what once looked dormant can come alive again. In many ways, marriage is no different.

Some marriages are thriving and full of life, while others are simply surviving. When a marriage begins to drift, it’s easy to focus on what your spouse is not doing. But real change begins when you ask a different question: “What am I putting into this relationship?”

Marriage is a choice. It’s a choice to give or to wait to receive. Scripture reminds us, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). That principle applies powerfully in marriage. When we focus on giving our best—our time, our effort, our attention—we begin to change the direction
of the relationship.

Marriage is like a garden. If it’s neglected, it begins to dry up. But when it’s watered, nourished, and cared for, it can flourish again. But there’s something else every healthy garden requires: You must stop focusing on the weeds. In marriage, it’s easy to fixate on what’s wrong; instead, focus on the positive.

Make it a daily habit to:

– Compliment your spouse

– Notice what they are doing right

– Express appreciation, even for small things

Find ways to laugh together again. Sometimes life gets so serious that we forget how much joy strengthens a relationship. The Bible tells us, “A merry heart does good, like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22). That is just as true in marriage. Learning to smile, laugh at the little things and not take every moment so seriously can bring healing and connection.

There have even been moments in my own marriage when negativity started to creep in, and I’ve had to gently say, “Let’s find something positive to say for each negative.” It’s amazing how that simple shift can help both of us refocus. It reminds us not to focus on the speck in the other person’s eye while ignoring the beam in our own (Matthew 7:3–5).

Too often, especially in the busy years of raising children, we give our spouse the “leftovers” instead of the “best of” ourselves. I’ve also found that when I intentionally help my wife—it not only eases the load—but it also strengthens our connection.

The Bible gives us a clear picture of how relationships are meant to function:

– “Love one another” (John 13:34)

– “Be kind to one another” (Eph. 4:32)

– “Serve one another” (Gal. 5:13)

– “Put on a heart of compassion” (Col. 3:12)

Start today by asking: “What can I do to invest in my marriage?”

Serve without complaining.
Give with a joyful heart.
Choose gratitude over criticism.
And look for reasons to smile together again.

When you do, you may find that what once felt like it was withering begins to flourish once again.

Megli, a licensed marriage and family therapist, offers “Agape Marriage Intensive” counseling sessions. For more information call 580-242-5683.