Seven-year-old Titus the Honorable and 4-year-old Cohen the Goodhearted are currently doing virtual schooling. It is amazing that a teacher can sit at home with a computer in front of them, and at a certain time, their computer screen will populate with their students.

Titus the Honorable did his virtual schooling from our kitchen counter one day. Since it was Veterans Day, he had me come online and say hi to his teacher and show off my green Class A Army hat. Every day, Titus receives a homework assignment that he must complete by the next virtual lesson.

Titus was back home working on his school assignments from the kitchen table when he yelled to his mom.

Titus: Mom! I need some more water in my cup, please!

Mom: OK, just a second!

Four-year-old Cohen: I can fill up your cup, Titus.

Titus: OK, thank you!

Mom:  Awwwwww, thank you, Cohen.

Cohen takes Titus’ cup and comes back few minutes later with it full of water.

Titus takes a drink: Uggck! This water tastes terrible!

Cohen: It’s just water.

Mom: Cohen, where did you get the water?

Cohen stands there staring at his feet, not saying a word.

Titus: It tastes like toilet water!

Mom: Titus, how do you know what toilet water tastes like?

Cohen: I couldn’t reach the faucet; I got water where I can reach.

Mom made an “I can’t believe it” face, and Titus gagged while his face turned green.

Mystery of the foul-tasting water? Solved.

I was speaking on a recent Sunday night at Oklahoma City, Grace Place for a small banquet to honor some of the workers in the church. Dark green tablecloths covered the tables, which were adorned with beautiful decorations.

In front of me was my dinner plate, silverware, a glass and a small container of olive oil with spices to dip your bread. The centerpiece of my table was a tall glass cylinder filled with long twisted breadsticks. Each stick was beautifully coated with a shinning coat of butter. I was tempted to grab one and dunk it into the olive oil and eat it before the banquet started, but recently, I have sworn off eating any kind of bread.

A couple sat down beside me, and the man asked me, “Where is the bread?” I pointed to the bundle of breadsticks standing in the center of the table. The man took one out, dipped it into the oil and started eating. As the pastor sat down with his plate, he asked me if I could pass the bread.

I must have looked confused, since it was standing right in front of him. The pastor then pointed to a basket covered with a green napkin that was sitting right in front of me. I pulled the napkin back to find the basket full of dinner rolls.

Now I was confused. I looked over at the man sitting next to me, and he had only taken one bite from the end of his breadstick, which he said was as hard as porcelain. “Those are not breadsticks; they’re some type of table decorations that look like breadsticks,” he told me. I had the man eating the centerpiece!

Cohen the Goodhearted, our hearts were in the right place. Because of your lack of height, you gave Titus toilet water. And because I didn’t know the real bread was right in front of me, I gave the man next to me fake bread.

I am glad when we ask Jesus for water, John 7:37 says He gives us living water, not toilet water. And when we ask for bread, He doesn’t give us give imitation bread but real bread that will satisfy (John 6:35).

You see, Cohen, Jesus is both the living water and the bread of life. Everything we need flows out of Him. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).

Speaking of good gifts for Christmas, you still have time to order these warm, lighthearted books of mines. I recommend the cookbook, “A Very Merry Aqua Velva Christmas” or my two other recent books, “Chicken Lips, Snake Legs and Jesus” or “Inside Out and Backwards.” The cost is just $12 for one or $20 for two plus shipping. To order, go to