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Rite of passage: Manufacturer’s defect

Dear Automobile Manufacturers,

First of all, I would like to let you know that I have been using your products for more than 50 years. I like the improvements you have made since I first started driving. When I first bought one of your products, it didn’t have air-conditioning, power steering, power brakes, seat belts or even a radio. By adding all of these upgrades, you have made using your products much more enjoyable.

I do miss driving down the road with the wing vents opened, though. But I am glad you have taken the bright/dim headlights switch off the floor and put it on the steering column. In fact, as a longtime satisfied customer, it comes as a surprise to me that I must write you about a defect I have discovered on your latest models.

This problem came to my attention recently as I drove from Tulsa to Saint Louis, Mo. It started out innocently. I consider myself a safe and cautious driver; I use my blinker lights religiously whenever I change a lane or make a turn. But on this trip, my blinkers malfunctioned. Actually, it wasn’t the blinkers, but the little speaker that beeps in sync with the lights.

Here’s the defect: I have observed that the longer I own a vehicle, the more the decibels of the blinker lights speakers diminish. Yes, what was once a strong and resounding clicking sound on my current car is now a faint audible. If it weren’t for my passengers yelling at me constantly, “Your blinker is on!” I would have driven all the way from Tulsa to Saint Louis with my blinker light flashing all the way. I know this could have led to a dangerous situation, as those around me would not have been sure if my vehicle was going to turn or change lanes.

I know I am not the only one who has had this problem. Most of the senior adults in my church would testify that they also have driven around for hours with a defective blinker light speaker.

I have thought about starting a petition asking for a recall of all vehicles of all makes and models with defective blinker light speakers. You would think with all the advancements in computers and electronics (remember, we even put a man on the moon) you would have discovered a solution to this problem by now. I know your engineers are busy working on producing self-driving vehicles and cars that can circumvent the globe on one AAA battery. I do agree that those are noteworthy goals, but first, can you fix the blinker light speaker problem?

I confess to you that I am no engineer, but I would like to make a suggestion. Could you install a blinker light volume knob? Just put it right next to the radio volume knob (which I also have noticed must be turned up higher to get the same decibels as the earlier models). This would make it within easy reach, and I could turn it up before my passengers start yelling at me.

I want to apologize. I have just been told the proper term for this piece of equipment is not “blinker lights” but “turn signals.” I remember when you didn’t put turn signals in your cars. Drivers had to hold one arm out of the window and point the way they wanted to turn. If you wanted to turn left, you held your arm straight out. As Burma Shave reminded us, “Don’t stick your arm out too far—it might go home in another car.” But most of your engineers weren’t around when highways were dotted with signs put up by a shaving cream company.

Please forgive me for wandering down Memory Lane. Anyway, if you could correct this defect, I (and everyone else at the Shady Rest Retirement Center) would be grateful. Thank you,

Sincerely,

Walker Moore

PS: My hearing is still good. I can still hear God when He speaks to me. I can hear Him through His Word. I can hear Him when someone is proclaiming truth. I can hear Him when He speaks in a still, small voice. I can hear Him in the midst of a storm and on a quiet, starry night. I can hear Him when He commands me to turn right or left. In fact, I think I hear Him better than I ever have.

es, I might not be as young as I used to be, but I can still hear the most important voice of all.

Despite what you may think, the manufacturer’s defect is not in … me.

Walker Moore

Author: Walker Moore

View more articles by Walker Moore.

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