This article was originally written by Chuck Lawless and published to ChuckLawless.com.
It’s been a long, long, time since I was a teenager, so I realize what I have to say today may be outdated. It might also be that teens are indeed having these conversations with adults today—though I doubt it. Here are some conversations I wish someone had had with me when I was a teenager trying to be a believer in a non-Christian home:
- “You’re not the only one struggling as a teenage Christian.” I was certain I was. Surely nobody was battling temptations like I was. At least, nobody was talking about it. That was part of the problem.
- “Let’s talk about pornography and lust.” I cannot say strongly enough how I wish a Christian man had cared for me enough to initiate that conversation. Fathers, waiting until you catch your teen in this habit is an abdication of your responsibility.
- “I’ll show you how to read the Bible and pray every day.” I wanted to do it because my pastor told me I needed to do it. Nobody taught me, though, so I struggled trying to be obedient. No teenager should have to learn these disciplines on his or her own.
- “God forgives you, but you’ll probably remember your sinful choices the rest of your life.” Had I known more than 50 years ago that I’d still occasionally hurt over my past sin today, I think I would’ve made some different choices then.
- “Be ready for God to change your plans—and be glad about it.” As a teen, I knew exactly what I was going to do when I grew up: teach high school English. God had other plans. And, while I still long to teach English, I’m grateful for God’s plans.
- “Let me help you learn your theology well because you’ll be challenged often.” High school classmates respected me, but they disputed my beliefs. College professors in a public institution questioned my faith. I wasn’t ready in either case—and I’m sure the battles are worse for teens now.
- “Don’t be a jerk.” I was at times, especially when I thought I was better or smarter than others. I wish someone had confronted me in my arrogance then so perhaps I wouldn’t deal as much with arrogance now.
- “Even teenagers die.” That’s morbid, I realize. None of us knew that fact, though, until two classmates died over two years—and no one talked us through our questions. I suspect the school offered counselors, but I didn’t go to anyone.
- “The choices you make today can come back to haunt you.” That’s probably even more the case today. Facebook posts, tweets, and other social media options reveal a teen’s foolishness to others, including college recruiters and future employers.
- “Hey, let me pray for you.” Sure, Sunday school teachers and pastors prayed for me when I requested it, but I wish an older brother in Christ would have surprised me with an arm on my shoulder and a prayer in my ear. To be honest, actually, I would look forward to that happening even today at my much older age.
Parents and grandparents, have the conversations with your teens. Someday, they’ll be glad you did.
