Rite of passage parenting: To the little girl in the yellow dress, part 2
My dear little friend,
I felt like I didn’t do a good job of writing to you last time. There was so much I wanted to say. I stumbled over my words, but I knew you understood what I meant.
Today, I saw you looking at me. Even though you weren’t wearing your yellow dress, I knew it was you. I see you everywhere I go. Sometimes, you’re the frightened little girl who peeks from behind the curtains, wanting to know if it’s safe to come out. At other times, you’re the sassy one who puts her hands on her hips and gives me that “Don’t mess with me” look.
This morning, you were looking out between the slats of your hut. You didn’t think I saw you, but I did. Today, I want to tell you something about the world you live in. Since the Fall of Man, everything has been turned upside down. I mean everything. We’ve lost our identity and our understanding of why we were created. Relationships with God and one another have been turned upside down, inside out and have gotten all messed up.
You don’t have to live very long to understand this. That’s why, even on the best of days, you may struggle with relationships. All you want is a real, meaningful, dynamic, deep bond. But this old world will disappoint you. Because of the Fall, you’ll seek others to give you that deepest of all loves, and you may think you can find your identity in a man. You may believe that by taking on his name, you’ll be complete. But that kind of thinking only makes the hole bigger.
You see, every person’s life contains a God-sized hole. This, too, is a part of the Fall. Finding a man is only one of the ways a young woman tries to fill that emptiness. Some will use beauty to cover this gap. I know so many young women who think if they are just glamorous enough, pretty enough or smart enough, they’ll end up in a deep, meaningful relationship. There’s nothing wrong with looking your best, but using your appearance to fill that emptiness won’t work.
Little girl in the yellow dress, I have good news. God has sent His only begotten Son so you can have a living, loving relationship with Him. Only He can fill your deep need for an intimate relationship, one that will never disappoint you, one you can always count on.
God gives you a promise: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5b). The only way you can have a right relationship with your family, your husband, your neighbors or anyone else is to have Him as your ultimate relationship. And that is true not only for you, my dear little girl in the yellow dress, but also for everyone else in this messed-up world.
From the beginning, God has never intended that you struggle with your worth, value and beauty. Yeah, it’s that old Fall thing again. When you have a relationship with Him, your self-esteem comes into focus. He’s the Author of Truth and has written you a love letter in His Holy Book. He shouts to this mixed-up world that you’re a person of worth and value, and He cannot lie. Just read Prov. 31:10-31. The one who fills that relational hole in your life will whisper loudly into your heart that you are a treasure. Yes, a priceless treasure, like a sunken treasure that has lain at the bottom of the sea only to be discovered years later. When you have a relationship with Him, He will make your worth and value known to the world.
And your beauty? That’s also wrapped up in this relationship. He’ll remind you that you are an original God-design. The One Who crafts every flower has spoken, and He said you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps.139:14). No one can copy His work.
So, my young friend, what I am telling you? That we all live in a messed-up world, and you don’t have to go along with its ways. God desires to have the first and deepest relationship with you. When you accept that, all the things you struggle with—your worth, value and beauty—will fall away. Satisfaction is the result of a relationship with Him. So quit looking around to what can fill that emptiness and look up. You can find the Answer.
Even when you’re peeking out between the slats in your hut.