RITE OF PASSAGE: Odds and Ends
Have you noticed that when people are trying to sell you something these days, they start quoting statistics? It’s as though numerical data has suddenly become irrefutable. If you don’t heed statistical wisdom, you will suffer from ingrown toenails, endure the heartache of psoriasis and be rejected by your mother for having bad breath.
The other day, I read that a 10-year, $3 million government survey revealed that three-fourths of the people in America make up 75 percent of the population. Of course, you know that when 81 percent of people use the word “government” and “statistics” in the same sentence, they are making up . . . something to prove a point. That same government survey, in fact, said that 51 percent of the people are in the majority. I even read the other day that 87.333 of all statistics are improperly done.
People have become so caught up in statistics that amazon.com lists an entire book filled with them. Statistical Abstract of the United States 2006: The National Data Book costs $39, including free shipping. To save you some money, allow me to share a few statistics about being an American:
• Your chance of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1.
• Your chance of experiencing an IRS audit: 175 to 1.
• Your chance of catching a baseball at a Major League game: 563 to 1.
• Your chance of picking a four-leaf clover on the first try: 10,000 to 1.
• Your chance of becoming a professional athlete: 22,000 to 1.
• Your chance of being hit by lightning: 576,000 to 1. (My cousin Jimmy was hit by lighting, an act that simultaneously melted his zipper and made him our local hero).
• Finally (especially for my youngest son), your chance of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1.
As if those are not enough, statistics also tell us only 7 percent of women trust their husbands to do the laundry correctly. Half the people who attend a movie sneak in snacks to avoid concession stand prices. Twenty-two percent of people leave a glob of toothpaste in the bottom of the sink after brushing their teeth. (My wife says the 22 percent are all male). Three out of four of you keep your money in rigid denominational order. Ninety percent of us use an alarm clock to get up in the morning. Sixteen percent of us have forgotten our anniversary at one time or another.
I like the statistics in the Bible much better. What are the odds that God knew you before the foundation of the world? That would be . . . 100 percent! What are the odds that even while we were sinners, God would send His only begotten Son to die on the cross for us? That also would be …100 percent. What are the odds Jesus will come back? That also would be…100 percent. What are the odds God wants you to raise your children according to His Holy Word? Again, that is…100 percent. What are the odds that if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you will have eternal life? Again, the answer is…100 percent.
In a world of uncertainty, wouldn’t it be wise to connect your children with the Certain One? Trust God with their lives. The odds that He will keep His promises are always…100 percent.