Churches need to be careful how they handle information they get about cutters. One 17-year-old who lives in Western Oklahoma said a friend of hers told the youth minister at a local church she was cutting.
“The next thing I knew, the youth minister, pastor, my brother and a lady in the church decided they were going to haul me into a room against my will and talk to me about this for two hours,” she said. “I’m not a big fan of church after they pulled that stunt.”
She said she doesn’t remember how cutting became a choice, but there were a lot of things going on in her family she wasn’t pleased with, and this is how she dealt with it.
“More often, it was to get rid of the pain,” she confessed. “When you do it, it makes you feel better, but afterwards, it dawns upon you that you have to come up with another way to hide the scars.”
She added that a lot of people look upon cutting as a form of stupidity and often as a failed attempt at suicide.
“But that’s not the case at all,” she explained. “I have no desire to kill myself. The thought crosses my mind, but it’s something I wouldn’t do.”
At Falls Creek two summers ago, she went forward during the invitation.
“I couldn’t sit there, and I ended up walking up front,” she said.
She later wrote a poem about her experience titled “Thursday Night Redemption.”
The poem ends with:
“You may never know why you sat and cried,
But one thing’s for sure, you know why He died.
A friend finally helped you to see the Truth,
That it wasn’t your blood that would save you.
So never forget what you felt that night,
Continue to live for God and show someone else the light.
You are bound to stumble and fall,
But don’t forget Who saved us all.
And when you go to bed tonight,
Don’t forget Who saved you Thursday night.”
After that experience, she said cutting was her journal, her diary, and what has now become her prayers
However, she said there is no chance she is cured from cutting.
“I tried to stop cutting after Falls Creek, because I knew if I didn’t then, I never would,” she admitted. “For four months, I didn’t cut at all, then I cut twice, and for five months, I didn’t cut. Then I did it again.
“Regardless of how long I go without cutting, whether it’s five months or five years, it’s still going to be a thought that crosses my mind,” she said. “I know God can help me with this cutting problem. It’s just a matter of whether or not I can handle stress.”
